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Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts


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128 replies to this topic

#1 OFFLINE   Prof. Caroline Moncrief-Vesey

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Posted 15 August 2011 - 11:57 AM

This is an old list but its still funny.

LIST

#2 OFFLINE   Alex Valen

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Posted 15 August 2011 - 01:37 PM

I have to say 268. The Slytherin Gift to Virgins is fictional, and I should not be asking Draco Malfoy or any of the other Slytherin
boys if they've mastered it yet.

Is epicly hilarious.

#3 OFFLINE   Prof. Caroline Moncrief-Vesey

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Posted 15 August 2011 - 01:41 PM

This list was oddly done by a group of teens so I had to share it.

I kind of want to do a list for HO like it.

I have a few like:

I am not allowed to surf on the moving staircases banisters

I am not allowed to chase a mouse under the staff table

Skateboards, even magical, are not an inside toy

Aurors are not landing pads

Monkey bars are not a good place to test spells

#4 OFFLINE   Prof. Alana Forrester

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Posted 15 August 2011 - 03:22 PM

There has to be one about treehouses. Like, I should not stay in a treehouse if there is a Slytherin near by.

#5 OFFLINE   Prof. Caroline Moncrief-Vesey

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Posted 15 August 2011 - 03:28 PM

or...

I should not play with fire while in the tree house

#6 OFFLINE   Prof. Katerina Petrov

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Posted 15 August 2011 - 03:38 PM

I will not continually burn down the tree house every time it is rebuilt, muwahaha.

#7 OFFLINE   Nicholas Volynski

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Posted 15 August 2011 - 04:01 PM

"188. "Y'all check this-here [Censored by the Caretaker] out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an experimental spell."

ROFL

#8 OFFLINE   Prof. Katerina Petrov

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Posted 15 August 2011 - 04:42 PM

...roflmao You would like that one Nicholas, but look you've been censored...again. :D

#9 OFFLINE   Fedora Middleton

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Posted 15 August 2011 - 09:19 PM

I like 24.I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there's no such thing as Santa Cllaus.I lol'ed at this one.

Edited by Fedora Middleton, 15 August 2011 - 09:20 PM.


#10 Guest_Addison St. James_*

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Posted 15 August 2011 - 09:27 PM

Another one...

First years may not be used a guinea pigs to test magical theory

#11 OFFLINE   Prof. Desdaemona Costa

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Posted 15 August 2011 - 09:32 PM

I almost died of laughter at 188. But then again, 384 had me giggling something fierce too! Heh. I think it's because I was just in the mountains on horseback for a week...

384. Announcing "Remember: Save a broomstick! Ride a wizard!" is not an appropriate way to conclude a Quidditch match.

#12 OFFLINE   Nicholas Volynski

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Posted 15 August 2011 - 09:52 PM

I almost died of laughter at 188. But then again, 384 had me giggling something fierce too! Heh. I think it's because I was just in the mountains on horseback for a week...

384. Announcing "Remember: Save a broomstick! Ride a wizard!" is not an appropriate way to conclude a Quidditch match.



OMG lol

#13 OFFLINE   Prof. Katerina Petrov

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Posted 15 August 2011 - 10:16 PM

Another one...

First years may not be used a guinea pigs to test magical theory


I still do not understand why not? lol

#14 OFFLINE   Kyla Weasley

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Posted 16 August 2011 - 12:47 AM

-Points to avi-
That's by far one of my favorites

Some others that I love:

287. When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout 'To the Batmobile, Robin!'

283. Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.

#15 OFFLINE   Corey Zirkle

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Posted 16 August 2011 - 03:25 AM

My favorites had to be

536. I will not charm Hermione's cat to jump up and yell Rawr i'm he-who-must-not-be-named!

571 Nearly headless nick does not approve of being called Casper the Friendly Ghost.

#16 OFFLINE   Prof. Caroline Moncrief-Vesey

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Posted 16 August 2011 - 08:58 AM

I still do not understand why not? lol



Mainly because the reason given was the wizarding world would not miss them if they went missing they were not an asset to the community yet.

#17 OFFLINE   Prof. Katerina Petrov

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Posted 16 August 2011 - 09:16 AM

Mainly because the reason given was the wizarding world would not miss them if they went missing they were not an asset to the community yet.


That sounds like a reason they should be used as guinea pigs >.<

Edited by Prof. Katerina Petrov, 16 August 2011 - 09:16 AM.


#18 OFFLINE   Prof. Adreia Kragen

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Posted 16 August 2011 - 10:04 AM

EPIC list! ;)

#19 OFFLINE   Prof. Caroline Moncrief-Vesey

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Posted 16 August 2011 - 10:52 AM

Okay I think I am going to start a list of things I am not allowed or should not do on Hogwarts Online

#20 OFFLINE   Prof. Caroline Moncrief-Vesey

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Posted 16 August 2011 - 11:01 AM

Things I am Not Allowed or Should Not do on Hogwarts Online


This is of course inspired by the Things I am Not Allowed to do at Hogwarts List and some of them are pretty out there. This list is basically going to be those creative things you have done tio earn detention, got in trouble for, things ended badly and so on. Just give your item a number and we will create a master list. People will later be able to make HO graphics with them. Those who can edit please edit.


--------------------------------------------------------------


The List

1 - I am not allowed to chase mice under the Staff Table in the Great Hall.
2 - Skateboards, no matter if they are magical or not, are still an outside toy.
3 - I am not allowed to surf the bainsters of the moving staircases.
4 - I am not allowed to organize the bookshelves from Z - A
5 - Aurors are not to be landed on like a pillow
6 - I am not allowed to set First Years on fire just for not being in Slytherin.
7 - I am not allowed to burn down tree houses...repeatedly.
8 - I am not allowed to give Rici a rubber duck for Christmas.
9 - I will not randomly hex other students pets for being there.
10 - I will not try to sneak to the Dragon Sanctuary to "tickle the cute one".
11 - Water balloons will not be used as ways to shower first years.
12 - It is not appropriate to steal all the Slytherins socks for kites.
13 - I am not allowed to put posters of half dressed guys up in the boys bathrooms
14 - I am not allowed to put posters of half dressed guys up in the boys dorm rooms
15 - I am not allowed to turn the hallway into an ice skating rink
16 - I am not allowed to turn the Grand Staircase into a water slide
17 - I am not alowed to jump over the banister of the Grand Staircase
18 - I am not allowed to freeze the beds or boxers of guys... even if they are related
19 - I am not allowed to freeze the boxers of guys even if they are not wearing them
20 - I should avoid the treehouse if there is a Slytherin around
21 - Hufflepuffs are not to be used a flotation devices
22 - Jello is not appropriate as a Christmas decoration, even if it does come in red and green.
23 - Gazebo's are not the place to let loose the Slytherin pet snake.
24 - The Slytherin's pet snake is not to be let loose in the middle of picnics.
25 - First years are not moving targets
26 - No matter how much you want sugar, do not eat candy during class.
27 - It is not okay to call a professor, no matter how evil they are being, evil in front of the entire class, loudly.
28 - The Greenhouses are not where you can practice any ball sport
29 - I am not allowed to punch someone in the face over hexing them, they have the same punishment
30 - I am not allowed to sing Muggle songs while hanging over a boiling cauldron, while a wolf threatens to eat me.
31 - It is not okay to hit someone with a fun noodle and yell "Wootalooo!"
32 - At no point is it acceptable to play chicken with the Whomping Willow.
34 - I may not call Slytherins Slytherskanks, no matter how much I think they are.
35 - Mudblood is not a blood status... even if I insist it is.
36 - First years may not be used as guinea pigs to test magical theory, even if they sign a waiver
37 - I should not be look out for any raid on an office they always get caught
38 - Abbracadabra is not a real spell and I can not sell it to first years.
39 - Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat is not a Wizarding Poem no matter how much I insist Lewis Carol was insane or a squib.
40 - I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are "covered in bees".
41 - No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
42 - The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
43 - I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
44 - I will not tempt Professor Logan with alcohol, no matter what stories I hear from the staff.
45 - I will not refer to Madame D'Lisle as a Lilliputian.
46 - There is not a giant evil butterfly under Beauxbatons Palace and I will not under any circumstances attempt to locate it.
47 - Eye-patches are not acceptable forms of Durmstrang headgear.
48 - I may not sing "Good Ship Lollipop" on the way to Durmstrang.
49 - Durmstrang Professors are not mateys and Professor Volynski is not their Cap'n.
50 - I will not upset a veela in an attempt to see their true form
51 - The Brotherhood is a ficticious society, and I will not attempt to locate it.
52 - I will not write insults on a wall of compliments in the girls or boys room
53 - I will not attempt to reunite Madame D'Lisle and Professor Volynski, no matter how many episodes of Dr. Phil I've seen.
54 - I will not attempt to make deposits to Gringotts through Madame D'Lisle.
55 - It is not polite to hum "Ding Dong the Witch Is Dead" while reading the obituary section of the Daily Prophet.
56 - I will not sneak into common rooms, in a different school; just to read their OOC. Even if I know I am mentioned on it...repeatedly.
57 - I will not leave my puppy in Professor Rayasha Yakuza's care.
58 - I will not go boat "shopping" with any of the Delacour girls no matter how fun it is to be a pirate.
59 - I will not dress up like a house elf to prank people, using their drinks, food, and dishes.
60 - I will not slide down the moving staircases on my matress.
61 - I will not use wizard swears, nor the Elder Swear, in place of vulgar language, no matter how silly they sound.
62 - I will not steal Rici's whip so I can die it yellow and be Wonder Woman for Halloween.
62 - I will not steal Rici's whip so I can act like Indiana Jones.
63 - I will not bite death eaters just because they are getting on my nerves.
64 - It is not acceptable to run around screaming or crying just because a specific vegetable is near you.
65 - I will NOT kill people just because i dont like their last names.....
66 - I will NOT feed Calamari to the giant squid; again.
67 - It is NOT appropriate to teach all the portraits in the headmasters office to do a strip tease to "Living on a prayer" Or to "I'm Too [Censored by the Caretaker]", or "Lollipop".
68 - It is NOT appropriate to turn first year's skin hot pink accidentally on purpose.
69 - It is NOT appropriate to steal you little sisters nickers and sell them to Slytherin Boys.
70 - It is NOT appropriate to turn back time so that everyone is 11 again.... and again.... and again.....
71 - It is NOT appropriate to ask Prof. Yakuza why she has a nose when her grandfather didnt....
72 - I may not allow students to duct tape mummy themselves, no matter how funny it may be.
73 - Fun Noodle will be used only in class not to whack owls with.
74 - No matter how brave I am, I will not say “Ahoy Matey!” to Professor Volynski before being sorted.
75 - I will not ask the Yakuza's how their Mafioso is doing.
76 - I will not attempt to throw Ravenclaws off the Astronomy Tower, even if I swear its all in the name of science.
77 - I will not attack the Headmistress. (or Headmaster)
78 - I will not attack the Headmistress, lock her in a wardrobe, break all her decorations, then have a whipped cream/chocolate/ice cream party in her office.
79 - I will not try to feed 1st years to the Giant Squid.
80 - It is NOT appropriate to change people’s hair color without their knowledge, even if you think they look better with lime-green hair.
81 - I will not throw muffins at Gryffindors
82 - I will not try to kill said Gryffindors with any kind of weapon for retaliating.
83 - I will not yell "Ichabod Crane watch out!" while dropping jack-o-lanterns off the towers when first years are gathered below.
84 - One should not host slumber parties in the Head Mistresses office when she is on maternity leave.
85 - I will not call Slytherins hotheads and proceed to practice my aquamenti spell on them.
86 - One should not ask the Fat Friar if he ate Robin Hood.
87 - One should not play with exploding golf balls during class.
88 - One should not put upperclassmen in an expandable handbag until they agree to do your home work for you.
89 - It is not okay to call Prof. Caroline Moncrief-Vesey Lassie even though her animagus form is a rough coated collie
90 - It is considered in poor taste to offer one's pickle for a sickle, no matter how funny it sounds.
91 - I will not gather my friends to sing the chorus of "Part of Your World" to Neryssa the Mermaid.
92 - I will not run into Neryssa's bubble and shout, "HEY! Walk much?!"
93 - I will not refer to Madame Giselle D'Lisle as my Fairy Godmother, nor will I ask her where my pumpkin coach is.
94 - I will not refer to Prof. Travis Blair's Pygmy Puffs as his "furry little problem."
95 - I will not accuse Prof. Travis Blair of Transfiguring Hufflepuff students into Pygmy Puffs as a disciplinary measure.
96 - I will not throw plates on the floor in Prof. Travis Blair's presence and yell "OPA! Now it's a Greek party!"
97 - It is not acceptable to attempt to transfigure Professor Blair's fiance into a tea kettle, plant evidence of murder and proceed to comfort him in order to take her place, no matter how much of a yumm-sicle he may be.
98 - The Two-Headed Cow Liberation Campaign is a better idea when Governor Kane is not in the stables with you.
99 - I will not attempt to tie other students to a Quidditch hoop and light them on fire.
100 - I will not fling dungbombs down the stairs up to the tower onto the oblivious students below.
101 - I will not start a food fight during an international feast with a fellow Headmaster.
102 - I am not allowed to punch the second in commands from other schools since it would cause an international incident. Nor the heads of any school.
103 - I am not allowed to toss cupcakes into my students’ ears.
104 - I am not allowed to shout ''THE MEDIA LIES'' infront of Ariana Darkwood
105 - I am not allowed to bribe Ravenclaws with sugar to do my homework, it just makes them ADD
106 - I am not allowed to bribe Ravenclaws with sugar to do anything, period.
107 - I will not accept bribes, no matter how much sugar or awesomely tasty the goody they offer is.
108 - I will not refer to the fictional Giant Butterfly of Beauxbatons as Mothra from the muggle Godzilla movies.
109 – Silly string and fire is just a bad idea.
110 – The Quibbler is not a resource for research papers, even if Lottie says everything printed is the truth.
111 - I am not allowed to feed first years to man eating plants or creatures





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